She's JV to your varsity
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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