I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize