Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
