did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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