What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
