i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize