i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize