But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
