i just google imaged poop.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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