He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Randomize
