Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
