There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
lets start a swedish sibling band together
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
