Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
