I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
