I intend to get homeless drunk
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Can I color on your dick again?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
