I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize