my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
