Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
