i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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