hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
