well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize