You're so nebulous sometimes
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
