she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
