and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize