jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm just crazy horny about you
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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