My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
