so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
