ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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