I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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