mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
