Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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