On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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