its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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