I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
