Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
