Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
