Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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