So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize