Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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