I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
