I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
