So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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