I'll bet she douches with gravy.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize