i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize