Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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