I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
