I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
