She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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