I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
