I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
