belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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