so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
how drunk are you?
Several
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
