My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
