She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
