summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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