Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
