My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
