hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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