Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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