Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.

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(619): View more from California

he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house

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(512): View more from Texas

Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?

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(630): View more from Illinois

Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.

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(317): View more from Indiana

why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?

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(303): View more from Colorado

I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.

(479): View more from Arkansas

Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?

(1-479): View more from Arkansas

This is why I married you.

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(630): View more from Illinois

just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.

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