No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
