That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
