I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
