I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
