I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
