nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
